Working backwards - Kerala

I haven't written in a while and busy isn't an excuse, because I'm not that busy, really. But I have been to a lot of cool places and I would be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy it. But the truth is, the places are only as good as the company I was with and the people I met. And I meet great people everywhere. But as a short cut, here are some links to place I went and what I thought of them.

Working backwards, I went to Kerala last weekend. The people of Kerala are genetically programmed to say "God's Own Country" as soon as you get settled. This was confirmed by a local friend of mine. The highlight was a backwater house boat cruise. The most peaceful experience I have ever, ever, ever had. The perfect blend of quiet peacefulness and movement - as you move through the water on a quiet motor boat, with fishermen and other houseboats going by, drinking some wine and just sitting quietly. Oh. We stopped at a small village and walked around. Next stop was to a fisherman's cabin to pick up some fresh prawns and finally, just before dark, a stop at a "toddy" shop for some Keralan coconut feremeted stuff. Slightly alcholic. Then the boat parks on a berm that separates the waters from the rice paddy's. Dinner and some cards and pitch dark night. The next morning is coffee and eggs and motor back to the dock.

The day before I had a scalp massage called a "champi" which is the root of the word shampoo. A very nice head loosener.

On Sunday we toured (shopped) in an old city called Kochi (Cochin). We bought fish from the fishermen on the water front, then took them to a small shop to be cooked. If you ask for 'natural' you don't get all the butter and seasoning, which is worth it because these were great all by them selves. There are some funny liquor laws, I didn't ask the details, but the waiter asked if I wanted a beer. Of course, was the answer, so he brought the special tea. Never drank beer from a tea pot before. We went to a spice shop and and a old synagogue, and a cool antique store.

Life in general and Jake's Birthday weekend

Well, you can figure that if you haven’t heard from me, it either because things are soo bad that all I’ll do is complain – and that’s not very interesting, unless I was Jerry Seinfeld, who can complain about anything! Or very busy and fun and I don’t have time to write. I hope you’ll be happy to know that it was the latter – fun and interesting times.

Now I worry that when I write about how much I like it here, people will think that Bangalore is a second paradise and what is so hard about moving half way around the world to a third world, excuse me, emerging nation? Bangalore and India aren’t for everyone. If I had a different length of stay or a different job or a lot of different things, then this wouldn’t have worked out. But most of all, this was a challenge that I needed right now. Not too hard, not too easy, just right. But every time I get confident – watch out – so if you don’t hear from me for a while – think the worst!

But now for the stories.

This weekend was Jake’s 13th birthday. And everything fell into place! Dosa’s for breakfast, cool shirts for presents, a really really cool birthday cake – a rugby ball with the number 13 – and the whole rugby team to sing happy birthday. Dinner with friends at a ‘frontier’ restaurant. Deluxe hotel brunch – dosa again, but with strawberry waffles on the side. Paintball games with friends. Pizza. Civ IV game gift. Another cool India shirt. A girlfriend called from Singapore (Shannon, the stalker). I think he was happy.
Thanks to everyone who sent e-cards – Nancy, Karen, Grandma, Dad, and the friends here – Erica and her family, Lee Johnstone’s mom and dad – Dave and Cathy – and his 15 year old brother Drew, who just flew in from South Africa that morning. Carol Tait for the birthday cake from Taj West End. And Siwon, a sweet boy from Korea. And brother Thomas, who got the Purple Heart for injury in battle. Pictures posted shortly.

Thomas social life is huge also. He is either in an intercontinental gambling ring or a multi-national animation development company. He and his friends have formed a company called “HappyMan Productions”. His first powerpoint animation is so cool and funny. I am going to try and post it on Youtube – I’ll post the link if I can.

There have been changes that the Richmond Villa. Vani is gone. She had started to take advantage of being home alone most of the day, but going out or having friends over. Not really what I was looking for. Then she took off one weekend and didn’t come back. This was the second time and I can’t afford to give second chances. I got a good replacement after a week of frantic phone calls. When Vani came back the following weekend to collect her things, she said that she had been kidnapped by her parents to be sold into marriage and she was only able to escape the night before and she came right here. You hear weird stories about things like this. One friend was told that her maid’s aunt was badly burned. Britta offered to arrange a doctor and a hospital stay, but the girl only wanted the ‘money’. My Indian friends are so negative towards people that work for them that it creates this win/lose attitude. It’s a pretty negative vibe, and not fun to be around, but not an invalid attitude either, based on my experiences sometimes. I wanted to come to India to learn the culture, but not all of it is very pretty. I have to say though – at least it’s out in the open.

But Rebecca is working out so far. 27 years old. Waiting for her betrothed to finish building a house. This is her second engagement, the first one, the boy started acting demanding and weird, so her family called it off. This man is related some how and she seems very excited and ready to be married. I have a higher level of suspicion now, so we’ll see.

Other quick events – went to a colleague’s son’s b’day party – big Indian event. A little crazy for a 3 year old, but fun. No trips to Goa – the boys have too much socializing to do. A couple of visitors from the US at work – got some good dinners and pub crawling out of that. Overall though, it’s just walking the streets – watching the boys/men playing cricket on Sunday afternoons or early in the morning – I don’t know who stares more.

Last week, I was walking past the athletic fields and a team was out for their run, two lines of about 20 guys. They ran right up to me, then split and ran around me – made me laugh! Sometimes I’ll walk, and some boys on their bikes (at least 2 per bike) on their way to work will ride up behind and then around me, yelling some version of “boo”. No harm at all, I jump and they laugh and then I laugh and they are gone. And the construction families, the ones that live (exist) in the in shells of the buildings they are building, the kids run out and just want to say hi. And the temple across from the park, where I am greeted and given a ‘namaste’ and I return the greeting, review all the latest offerings. It’s not all pretty, but it’s a life and it’s embraced and joy is found and shared. I wish I could capture the life in pictures, but it wouldn’t be the same. I’ll post the latest from Jake’s birthday, but I don’t want to objectify the life I am seeing – it’s their life, not my souvenir.

The monsoon weather came in this weekend – and it’s kind of cold! If you aren’t used to it, the wind and rain make me wish I had a fireplace. A tree fell on an auto (autorickshaw) and killed a man yesterday. The auto drivers are wearing hats and gloves. We got out the blankets I thought we’d never use. And the newspaper had a recipe for soups. We go to Rajasthan next week and I don’t know what kind of weather to expect. Rain is fine, but monsoons blow hard and bring strong downpours – not good for sightseeing.

So July is fully of traveling and more changes. If anyone is still reading this – hope you are enjoying it. I wish I could write more, but then I’d be in a different profession!

XXXOOOO

C

Trip to Mysore

check out thse pictures of our trip to Mysore today. Birdwatching, palace, and fun market.

A Normal? Week

Not much exciting this week, unless you count lice. Thomas was sent home and had to be check. Jake had them too - go figure. Not bad cases, and in Thomas - he's easy to check. Jake - love the hair, but so do the bugs, so we are still combing through him regularly.

The rains started here this week. BIG thunderstorms in the evening. Kills traffic - the traffic lights go out, the traffic cops go home - gridlock. At the flat, we have this wonderful enclosed back porch, but this is the first year the owners have put it in - guess what - it leaks. We had to pull in all the PC equipment, move the furniture away and block the kitchen door so it didn't come in that way. I say "we", but it is really Vani and Jake doing all this - I only sympathize and call the landlord.

We had a scare from Vani last weekend - she took off on Friday night and DIDN'T COME BACK!!!!! I was okay for Saturday and Sunday, and even Monday, but I really need help here and she was it! Turns out she was behaving like a teenager, chasing some fun. The agency rep knows her father and she came back on Tuesday. I was so mad, but she seems to have that out of her system and we are back to normal. She does get time off during the week - I'm not a slave driver - but I do need her to show up on time.

Other than that - rain, lice, Vani, the week was normal. Working hard, but planning the trip to see northern India and to come home. Tentative dates for Texas are 7/18 - 7/30.

Also, if you can, install Skype. If you link up to someone you can talk long distance, even international for FREE! Our account is 'jakethom' and we should show as available whenever someone here is online, so you can just see if we are on and give us a call! I tested it out with Jamie last week and it worked great!

Boys are fine - they had their Arts week last week. They had a musical program - Thomas's class had to sing "Hey Jude" and Jake's sang "Layla". I missed the "Layla" performance - at Jake's request. but what kind of music teacher asks 13 year olds to sing Eric Clapton songs - I don't know!

Don't forget Jake turns 13 next month -OOHHHH - he promised to be the perfect teenager - and that is NOT a good thing :-))

Pictures from the trip to the coffee plantation. I don't think you have to log on to access these, but send me a note if you are having any problems

Coffee Estate trip

Belated Mother's Day Shout Outs!

To all the 4th grade Kolter mom's - hope the San Antonio trip went well. and I hope the baseball is still good - not too many rainouts or too many late games
To my friends who *hopefully* went to the Art Car Parade for me - don't forget the Accordian Kings are coming up.
To my friend who had elective surgery in April - hope it was successful and the recuperation was pleasant.
To anyone who is planning a visit - I have 3 people interested so far - I read about a flight from Chicago to Bangalore - don't know which airline yet, but check it out.
To my Bangalore friends - so many more places to visit - send me your favorites
To everyone in the US - I forget what the weather is like and the seasons, so send me a reminder - is it hot yet?
To anyone who is in transition (and there a couple of us!), remember that it's a journey and if you weren't on one, you'd be sitting still.
So to one and all - remember to breathe, and again, deep breath and smile :-)

Coffee estate and Mother's day

Alert!! More pictures coming in a link to another picture blog - we had a great trip to the coffee estate. The trip there was the best part - went to 2 temples and words can't express the awesomeness of these places. the first was a Jain temple. The Jain's are cool - they believe in the complete sanctity of life, to the point that some have been know to starve to death to prevent the killing of any life. Shravanabelagola is a massive stone carved man, that takes 265 steps to reach. They don't tell you that when they encourage to go there, but it was a fun climb. One woman was carried up on one of those platforms carried by 4 men, running! up the stairs with her reclining back. They were sweaty guys when we caught up to them.

Our second stop was in Belur, which has an wonderfully carved temple - all out of stone. I hope the pictures do it justice. At these places you can hire private tour guides and we had a very nice one - he pointed out things like the fashions the women were wearing (Shorts!) and their hairstyles and jewelry - there was that much detail. Really nice place. But that was just the start of the day (4 hours into it).

We moved on to the coffee estate. Okay - I am good with backroads, and B&Bs, but this place was awfully remote. The roads. were bad and long . . . . . . and hour up the switchbacks and potholes - but we made it just before the rain - which came over the mountain and cooled everything wonderfully. Now this place was a guest house - which means a group living room, one tv, not much furniture, but a working coffee estate. I call it 'estate' because when I called it a plantation, the boys pictured a typical southern plantation, which it's NOT! The long distance scenery is wonderful, but up close - it's weedy piedmont trees and underbrush. Some of the underbrush is coffee and pepper plants, but, nothing you want to oohh and ahhh at. Summary - glad we went - wouldn't go back. But it's the journey, not the destination and that was priceless, so there you go. (anybody who has travelled on Indian roads will understand that sentence even more)

So the week goes on . . . I have some meaningful work now - which means I take it all too seriously and intensely and I am working too hard. But I promised myself that I would find some balance in my life here - and I will miss the boys so much when they go back to Texas, I want to watch out for that.

Happy Mother's Day A friend brought me a box of Keebler cookies and a bottle of wine - they are both costly and rare here! I cooked fajitas on a tandoori oven and smoked out the house. Tried to make margaritas from local limes, but it wasn't the same.

I still want to write more about the shopping and cooking and eating and generally the things in my daily life, so stay tuned and thanks for all the great emails and comments.

Vani and the apartment

Jobs

Morning Walks in Bangalore

Hi everybody - thanks for all the nice notes~ We are having a good time, in a lot of ways it is incredibly western here, so we don't have too many problems with missing things, so thanks for all the offers of care packages - but if we can't find it here, we probably don't need it (I will load up on a couple of things when I come home in June, but that's for my vanity, not necessity!)

Here are a couple of observations about life here from my morning walks

Walking on the sidewalks is for wimps. You are meant to walk in the street, next to the side walk. It's only moderately more dangerous, since the sidewalks are often missing blocks and the sidewalks are just stone blocks covering ditches for drainage. (and I won't mention the other uses for sidewalks, like sleeping and ablutions)

The dogs are the most peaceful things in all of Bangalore. They are flopped on the sidewalks, street. Or they are walking around, like lords of the street. I actually feel calmer when I see one (or a couple). There have been some issues with dog bites and I hear a bunch barking occasionally in the evening, but they are the best stray dogs.

Saris and Salwar Kameeze are the outfits that the women wear and they are as varied as the world itself. I cannot get over how different each on is, with the different fabrics and styles. The style difference on the Salwar Kameeze is in the neckline and length, but mostly the fabric. And I have never seen an Indian woman's bare leg. Seriously. The legs are completely covered at all times. Even my below the knee shorts seem odd. And I won't dare wear real shorts - I think I would start a riot! But the men can where the dhotis or lungis (like this picture, but they tuck the fabric up, so that the garment is short) and show a lot of leg - but not the women!

Nothing opens before 10:30 - not for food or newspapers or anything! I take the boys to their bus stop by autorick at 7am, then walk back to the flat. A direct walk would take about 10 minutes, but I use this time to explore Bangalore. It's nice not to have the traffic and it's cooler, but I can't find a coffeeshop or a newspaper stand or anything. There is a corner with 2 guys who have a bag of buns and thermos of coffee that they bring on their bicycle. Not for me, but someone can use it. ** Tuesday May 1 was a holiday here (Labor Day for all the non-communists reading this) I did my same walk, but with the shops open. It was a blast! I had my first paan, which is a bunch of stuff, just stuff, wrapped in a betel leaf and chewed . I ate with a couple upper class indians who had stopped at this one which is apparently very well know, by Koshy's (old Indian diner, behind St. Mark's Cathedral). The got me one and then you chew and chew and chew. And this helps your digestion. Not bad, but I think it tastes a little like soap. I'd do it again. But Thomas and I walked the route and saw how different it was when the businesses were open. Nice.

Got to go. Today is Friday, which usually is a long day. So much happens in the US and UK, as everyone there is trying to meet their end of week commitments, so I wind up working kind of late. I will compensate this weekend, because we are going to a coffee plantation, about 5 hours drive, and won't come back until Monday morning. I'll let you know how that goes.

love love love to you all and please use the comments section, it's fun to let everyone read what everyone else has to say!

Where the Indians are Cowboys

This was from the first days here - read the restaurant review - it's hilarious!
Last weekend, I went to a local ex-pat butcher and got good ground beef and we had hamburgers - that hit the spot.

Millers 46 Deccan Herald Link

Last night we went to a 'steakhouse'. Mistake. Not that it was that bad, but we had our hopes up and we so tired that we couldn't laugh at the results. Jake about lost it, but hung in there. This place was called Miller 46 and billed it's self as based on the legend some guys named Miller. The waiters, these scrawny India (and some Asian types) dressed in these funky western shirts. They had some tequila drinks that would kill you. But they had steak and baked potatoes, so Jake asks for a bacon burger and baked potato. The chef comes out to consult and tells him that the bacon burger is *just* bacon on a roll. So we rethink and out comes this huge hamburger. But you would never know how engineered the US hamburger buns are, because they just don't have it here and this bun just fell apart. The potato was about 2 1/2 inches around and the fully loaded, was some butter and runny sour cream. Then we ordered apple pie.
Oh my. . .
But the steak Thomas and I ordered was decent and Jake got a second potato and we went home and crashed. We (they) are learning that what the menu says here may not translate to our expectations and to always have a fallback meal in mind (did I tell you I paid $5 for a jar of American PB - that's our fallback sometimes - and I have more coming in our shipment, so we'll be fine)

Today we went to church in the morning and came home and made spagetti for lunch - the boys appreciated a home cooked meal even if the spagetti sauce was to spicy - this was a jar of 'pizza' sauce that we thought would work, but it didn't. Yesterday we went to a bakery that was recommended and they also had some jars of Ragu spagetti sauce. Might have to go back there. Then we took a nap and then we went to the biggest local temple today and then to the mall. Seeing all sides of things, I guess.

I will tell you that it is exhausting getting around here. It took about an hour to get to the temple because the driver got lost. From there to the mall, then to another shopping district. We were only out for about 4 hours and we were all wiped when we came back. Some of it may be the heat, but it's hard being a passenger, with the way the cars stop, start, slow down, swerve, honk, flash headlights. It could be the bombardment of images. It could be because it's hard being stared at, even when you are in the car (but I can't complain, because we are staring back).

Oh, and there is a donkey cart station about a block from this new service apartment. About 4 carts all parked and the donkeys tied to stone blocks with feedbags. That explains the donkey stampede my friend saw when he was staying here. I also walked up the local market street and saw the mutton shop (with carcasses hanging) and the chicken shop (live chickens - pick your own), among other specialties. There was a cart that I think was either selling pots and pans or collecting them, not sure.

And in one of the shopping areas we found the Bangalore Ham shop and bought some bacon. We are still looking for eggs that I think would be safe to eat. Of the 2 grocery stores I've been to, one didn't carry them and the other kept them out by the cash register that wasn't going to work for me. (note - we are eating eggs now - the taste richer than the eggs in the US)

The boys love email and have their opinions of India - send them an email if you can!

Jake's email - bruton@wt.net
Thomas's email - mcdonough@wt.net

Working women and new office puja

I left out the picture of the puja priest blessing the servers in the server room. He draped the server rack with flowers and said prayers and waved the incense. I couldn't keep a straight face - I had to leave that ceremony - but I have to say - if it works - GREAT!

Pictures - Le Meridien and the Bull Temple

Update on the boys - Day 6

Just wanted to give you an update on the boys and what we are doing these
days.  They love getting your email, so keep emailing them.  They check
their email at school and at home.  They both seem to have a few friends
that they write to, but I wish they would include more since they seem to
love that part

Anyway.  We get up around 6:30am and grab some breakfast from the buffet
at the hotel, they are very patient with us there.  The driver takes them
to school, which is pretty far out, north of town.  They go past some
pretty raw areas and I hope they are watching out the window - as usual
they are reading a lot.  The school has been pretty laid back this week
since they have break next week.  They seem to be getting along.  Jake
doesn't talk much, Thomas tells me ever little detail, none of which I
retain.  Except he is planning his alternate universe . . . . hmmm

The driver (John) picks them up in the afternoon.  This week there is not
ECA (extra curricular activities), so school is out at 2:45.  I've had
John come by and pick me up at the office and I come back to the room and
keep working.  But today I sent them back alone, and let them open up the
set of Simpson's DVDs I've been saving for this day and they were fine.

Then we go out for errands or apartment hunting.  Dinner has been in the
hotel restaurant again - it's okay, expensive, but convinient.  We did
room service and it was $50 for 3 hamburgers and the didn't really like
the burgers - oh well.

Then we come back up, I get on my evening calls and they read, shower and
stay up too late, as usual.  We are doing okay, considering we are in a
smallish hotel room

over the weekend we got out and about in Bangalore.  We met a family that
lives nearby and goes to our school.  They took us to rugby practice last
weekend.

That's about it for now.  Just wanted to let you know that they are doing
great and have been great company!

April 2nd - First Impressions

Things are better with a little food and sleep.  We have had some good
days, not too stressful, but making progress.  The boys start school
tomorrow, and I have to hit the ground here and keep up with some Marathon
work.  I have another real estate agent to meet with tomorrow.  Things are
actually kind of expensive here, I will probably be paying over $4000/mo
in rent for a furnished apartment!  I paid $5 for a jar of american peanut
butter, but I have to easy Thomas into non-familiar brands.

I have seen a wall being built, each stone carried to the wall 1 at a
time, on the head of a woman, with other women carrying a bowl with the
mortar.  We've seen ox carts, donkey carts, families of 5 on a
motorscooter and Jake got to drive an autorickshaw part of the way home.
People keep refering to Jake as a girl, but that doesn't bother him.
Everyone asks where we are from and how old the boys are, how long we are
staying, but are very friendly.  I think that is why I liked this place
the last time I came, people are mostly friendly and helpful (a little too
helpful if you like your personal space sometimes).  Jake can walk through
the crowds in the commercial street like he's always done it.

I hope we don't get too spoiled in the hotel.  It's nice, but a little
claustrophobic.  I met another expat family Saturday morning, the family
lives near by and came over for a breakfast out Saturday morning.  Not
being shy, I went to speak to them and they are going to our school!  They
took us to Rugby practice Saturday afternoon and introduced me to some
other expat families.  I hope the network starts to link up and find me a
good housekeeper.

I have to start taking pictures, without being too obvious that I am
trying to record the harsher side of life here.  It's truly amazing what
the people have to go through for ordinary life.  There is a big issue for
the government to set quotas for school admission to OBC people (OBC-
Other Backward Classes/Castes).  That is what has been in the news.  Now
there are calls for the government to be more specific about who is in the
OBCs - still trying to get my head around the discrimination that must go
on.

After the first month

Sunday night, beginning of week 5 in Bangalore. I have a hard time remembering Houston - except missing my friends. The time here has gone fast and has been very productive, which I've learned is a very rare experience. It will be hard to catch up on everything tonight, but I really want you all to know that I miss you, but have really liked the trip so far. I have tons of little details, that may be kind of boring, but help put things in context. Even if you get bored of reading this, I'll look back as a journal of the trivial and routine and hopefully stupendeous and amazing. If you are reading this and want to know more, ask me a question - ok?

For the basics here is what we've done . . . . .

week one was in a nice hotel. Not super fancy, but there was a doorman and chocolate on the pillow. It was were I stayed last November and the staff remembered me (hopefully for my personality and not the tip I left last time!), but felt welcoming and they were good to the boys.
We found the school and started househunting, but without a lot of focus. But Saturday morning, there was a guy and 2 kids eating breakfast in the hotel. These were the 1st kids I've seen in the hotel, turns out Mike Krupa lived around the corner and they went to the same school - Canadian International School. We went to rugby practice with them that afternoon and Beth gave me a great rundown on getting settled - they've been here 3 months and gave me her relo person - Roopa Salhendra.
Well, Roopa was great and after a week of looking, found us this apartment in the center of town - more on this later. So the boys are in school, which is way outside of Bangalore - yuck, down a bumpy dirt road, past a farm and a couple of temples, but the campus is brand new and open buildings and it's okay.
My office was also in the process of moving, so I kept a low profile and started working through all the stuff it takes to relocate to Bangalore - Foreign Resident Registration - 3 trips to the main police station (old colonial building, lots of bats hanging from the trees).
It was going to be a week until the apt (flat) was ready, so we moved to a service apt. This had a kitchen and people that would order pizza for us. I started grocery shopping - eeerrrkkk! I was told that western products were available, but not the price! $5 for a jar of Skippy. One day I spent $35 on poptarts, cereal, and those jars of instant bisquick pancakes! But they are good to have in the panty, just in case. Oreos - forget about it, I'll wait for 2 more months . . .
Our staples are Ragu spagetti sauce and penne pasta - at least once a week. But more on food later too - be patient, there is a lot to catch up on!
So last Saturday (Apr 21) we moved to the flat in Richmondtown (Richmond Villa, No. 6 Leonard Lane, Ground Floor, Richmondtown, Bangalore, 560025). It's a 3 bedroom, ~3000 sq. ft (I think it's in feet and not meters - I need to check that!), but it's big enough, furnished with a combo of family cast offs, but good ones and new apartment quality furniture. The fact that the UPS (backup power), internet, water and appliance all work it considered a miracle apparently, so I'm not too worried about the furniture.
The boxes I shipped from Houston arrived on Sunday, after a trip to customs on Saturday and attempted bribe. (they showed me a handwritten paper with a list of items and an estimated duty, which I would have to come back and pay. OR, I could just give them 1/2 that now, and it would all be taken care of (about $60). I asked if I got a receipt for that (ha ha) and said I'd come back on Monday. Guess what - on the official slip - no duty! I guess they have to try . . .)

So now we have a place to live, a steady driver, a wonderful cook and cleaner. Our stuff. All we need is company! Come and see us - one room is a guest room. The area is great and not too hot, for India. And the dirty, stinky, yucky, fascinating (oh my!) part of life here is around the corner, nearer to the camel lot I saw the other day. But the flat is quiet and there are places you can go and forget you're in India.

I'm going to post some earlier emails I sent to Beth and my mom, my brother and some other friends. They've also got lots of details. I hope this isn't boring to you!